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Products Gallery

Most of our products are unnecessarily shrouded in secrecy, due to 'commercial confidentiality' or for spurious reasons of national security. However, from time to time details of TiT's product range reach the public domain. In a spirit of openness details of some of our publicised products are available here:

• The Bullet-Proof Spray

  Eight years in development at TiT, the Bullet-Proof Spray is a biomolecular aerosol which has the effect of rendering the wearer completely bullet-proof for roughly three hours per use. After this time the wearer remains partially bullet-proof for another 24 hours. Due to launch in 2009/10, TiT are confident that the Bullet-Proof Spray will change the face of modern warfare.

  

• The Eli-Copter Elephant Personnel Carrier

  The 'Eli-Copter' is a hover suit for an elephant that is intended to give infantry a practical advantage in getting onto the battlefield safely and quickly. Described as "a natural choice for infantry deployment", TiT engineers have based the Elephant strategy on the famous tactics of Carthaginian general Hannibal, who led an Elephant squadron in an unforgettable campaign against the Romans. Although the campaign eventually ended in catastrophic defeat, TiT's development team are confident that they have backed the right horse this time.

  Each 'Eli-Copter' Elephant Personnel Carrier comes with a free elephant and the Saudi government recently announced a deal for 79 units. See News item 'The Eliphants Have Landed'.

  

• The Soldier Spray

  The Soldier Spray is another new troop carrier, capable of deploying up to 300 troops a minute by firing them from a giant hydraulic cannon mounted on top of a customised troop carrier. The new product line is still at the testing stage but will go into full production next year after touring the world's Defence Expositions this autumn.

  The custom-built T16 "Soldier Spray" is capable of firing whole brigades of highly trained infantrymen into the battlefield at unprecedented speeds. The infantry will receive special training ahead of their deployment and will also wear special helmets, designed to protect them on landing.

  

• The Invisible Uniform

  The invisible uniform was designed at TiT's Swazborough HQ in Herefordshire and will be woven from gold and manufactured on site in what seems a surprisingly small, purpose-built new production facility. Tactical Intelligence and Technology Chief, Commander Kevin Cheeks, recently announced a new contract with the Japanese military, worth £45m, to supply 45,000 units of TiT's innovative new battledress to the Japanese Emperor's elite personal guard, following a recent visit to Skarsdale by Japanese Emperor Akihito at which the head of state was said to be extremely impressed.

  

• The Aircraft Carrier Carrier

  After Project Nemesis, HMS Canute is the largest project currently on TiT's slated development list. A revolutionary naval innovation, HMS Canute is intended to become an off-the-peg, one-ship navy. The craft is a massive aircraft carrier , boasting five normal sized aircraft carriers on top and, on top of that, 10 more, smaller aircraft carriers. Commenting on the launch of HMS Canute earlier this year, Commander Kevin Cheeks said "We at TiT have been thinking long and hard about how to move war up a level. How to make a statement that the British Navy are still the best in the world. With the aircraft carrier carrier, we won't really need the other ships anymore."