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Main Content

What We Do

What do we do?

TiT is a big company that likes small problems. There are a bunch of nuts out there threatening the security of our great nation. TiT is the sledgehammer that can crack these nuts, although we also sell nutcrackers to some of these nuts. At our kernel, we supply solutions and advice for delicate situations, in exchange for large amounts of money. And if negotiation fails we have developed a range of massive guns to back up your argument and prove your point.

Our mission statement

To provide our customers with safe, good value, efficient services. To offer a consistent and reliable product that doesn't explode on first use, killing the user, or when booted up goes on a kill-crazy rampage, destroying enemy and ally alike. We endeavour to make our tariffs appealing to Dictatorships, Totalitarian States, Republics, Democracies, Communist, failed or transition states alike. Furthermore, we pledge to help any legitimate government, no matter how unpopular, or illegitimate, to own the very best in secret military innovations. To achieve this we will continue to make lots of money developing and promoting our secret military innovations, with the help of the UK government and taxpayer.

But what do we do?

Again with the questions! Your IP address is being tracked. Let's imagine TiT were a company that made chairs. Then the chairs we would make would be the most expensive and most dangerous chairs in the world. Chairs that could be launched from the back of a truck and destroy a city. The kind of chair that could hit a moving target from ten miles. Chairs that you probably don't have a security clearance to even sit on.

What we do is a secret.

But, if you were to imagine we made chairs then these might be the kind of chair-based services we could offer:

• The Special flying Surveillance chair: an unmanned UAV chair
• The Deadly Bubonic Chair: a chair that could be delivered by gas
• The Air-Launched Chair: capable of flying thousands of miles at supersonic speeds at an altitude of just a few inches from the ground in order to evade radar.

In fact, TiT really are the leading developers of offensive and defensive chair-based military technologies and our comfortably-seated clients include Presidents Bill Clinton and George W Bush, Robert Mugabe and Pope Benedict XVI.